Erste Schrei

[Some of you may recognize Starscream's overly large, messy handwriting by now. Some of you may not. Either way, he wants to complain at you.]

What is wrong with you fleshlings? Your stories are revolting. I knew you were disgustingly organic and primitive already, but I thought you at least had some standards.

Every other fairytale in the library has interspecies fornication, inbreeding, mutilation, cannibalism, or is simply bizarre. This is the worst research I have ever had the displeasure of doing, and how in the Allspark the Autobots can admire your odious species is beyond me.

[Long pause.]

Oh yes, who here can read my messages? I have been attempting to ascertain how these communicator books function.

- Cmdr. Starscream

[The signature is pretentiously fancy looking.]

2: TEXT

[Well, if anyone saw his last message, his writing today is downright frantic in comparison to his previous one. Instead of a nice flowery handwriting, he's probably just scrawling on the notebook today.]

Has anyone seen my Gauntlet?

It's a metallic glove that goes over the left arm. There's a screen on it, and if you tap the screen there should be a white fairy that appears named Burroughs. If anyone's seen it, can they alert me as soon as possible? It's-

[-and he accidentally tips over the ink and spills it over the rest of the page before he recovers.]

Um.

[A period of indistinct yelling at himself later,] -it's important.

(no subject)

[It's a cloudy mid-morning on THURSDAY, JANUARY 9, and the town is bustling as always. Many people are quite excited about the second batch of new arrivals; though they're not getting quite the celebration the first round got, they still might find themselves being greeted by bizarrely friendly folk.

Out of place is a number of geese scattered around town, each with their own little messenger bag packed full of rolled up parchment. They're putting the papers up all over, on fence posts and market stalls and storefronts, even stuffing them into mailboxes and leaving them on benches. Each paper is nearly identical, with large, blocky font and the occasional inky feather mark.

LOST
SEVERAL ITEMS OF GREAT IMPORT

SOMEONE HAS STOLEN FROM OUR HOMES THE FOLLOWING THINGS

ONE GOOSE-SIZED NIGHT CAP
THREE TEACUPS (PINK AND YELLOW FISH PRINT)
EXACTLY SEVEN AND A QUARTER LEFT SOCKS
AN APPLE CRUMBLE

IF FOUND PLEASE CONTACT
ADELICIA VON FARTHINGTON (THE FIFTH)
AT THE NORTH BANK OF THE LAKE


If stopped, the geese will be more than happy to talk at great length about how terrible this all is. Strangely, there appear to be a few other people and animals poking around as though looking for something, or acting a bit sullen for such an otherwise joyful day.]

1: TEXT & ACTION

Text

[SO APPARENTLY THESE NOTEBOOKS SEND OUT MESSAGES...? Like transmissions on Gauntlets...? That was a close call, he almost used this as a diary. Uh, not that anyone needed to know that.]

Good day. [There’s an awkward pause before the next words.] My name is Jonathan. I’ve arrived in this place rather suddenly, and I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do.

[The presses against the paper gets a bit softer.] I don’t want to bother anyone, but if it’s not too troublesome… has anyone heard of anyone called a Samurai? Or the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado? Has anyone heard of the archangels. I assume this… isn’t Heaven?

I’m sorry for being so forward, but any help could be appreciated, even if the answer is null. [Another pause.] Oh, one last thing- has anyone else arrived here… postmortem?

Action

[If anyone goes outside on the streets of Märchen, they might spot someone very pointedly trying to avoid the pixies. He thinks he's being subtle, but really he's not.

He's holding a book with the name 'Hansel' engraved on it. He also has a new-found fear of sweets, but you can't really tell that from his face. Care to approach?]