mythmaking | (no subject)

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[The handwriting isn't the neatest, but the style is sharp and strong. Unfamiliarity with a quill pen most likely.]

Before heading into the forest:

1. Stick to the paths
• Risk of more encounters if you walk off into the woods directly

2. Try not to travel alone

3. Go during the day

4. Always be ready to defend yourself

[The writing stops. He doesn't know why he even wants to go about the forest like this. Seeing the shore of a lake, he closes his journal and head towards it. Sword, gun, and ax and the animals in tow, sounds like an ideal place to stop for a bit.]

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We can use Natural Selection when we're not fairy tale characters. Dying sounds counterproductive right now.

...OKAY I GUESS YOU HAVE A POINT.
STILL, IT IS COMMON SENSE TO NOT GO WANDERING OFF WITHOUT AT LEAST PREPARING TO GET ASSAULTED BY RABID DEVILBEASTS.

This can be their first and only warning then. Whatever happens, they had their chance.

OK, THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT IN THE FOREST ON YOUR OWN THEN?
AREN'T YOU A HUMAN TOO?

I am, but I'm used to it.

[No more details into that. Use to the fighting and surviving is all Karkat needs to know.]

WOW.
LOOK AT THAT MAGNIFICENT PILE OF KNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME.
MY GAPE HINGE IS SO WIDE OPEN I CAN CRAM AN ENTIRE FUCKING BEHEMOTH LEAVING INSIDE MY PROTEIN CHUTE, IT'S LIKE IT'S FUCKING TWELFTH PERIGEE'S EVE IN HERE.
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW HAS BEEN SO CONVENIENTLY PACKED INTO THOSE SEVEN WORDS, HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU FOR SUCH INFORMATION?

[If they were face-to-face right now...]

Right you little smart-ass. Anything else you want to know?

WELL I COULD ASK WHY YOU'RE BOTHERING WITH THE FOREST IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT IT'S PROBABLY EITHER BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE ME AND YOU'RE SICK OF THE TOWN, OR YOU'RE JUST SHITHIVE MAGGOTS ENOUGH TO NOT GIVE A FUCK.

Both. Surprised some people can stand staying in town.

WHOEVER CAN STAND IT IN THE TOWN IS EITHER TOO SPONGE-DAMAGED TO DECIDE OTHERWISE OR IS A MASOCHIST.

[Alright, that earned a chuckle. Still...]

Whatever they want to do at this point, weird decision or not.

WELL NOW YOUR ONE GOOD DEED OF THE DAY IS DONE, SO FEEL FREE TO SIT AROUND FONDLING YOUR HUMAN SHAME GLOBES OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU HUMANS DO WHEN YOU'RE ALONE.

[Whoever's on the other end has issues.]

Right.

[And then nothing else is written.]

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