mythmaking | Once upon a time...

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Once upon a time...

[ For the residents of Märchenstraße, and all the land surrounding it, the eighth of December was a day to look forward to. Looking at it from an outside perspective, strangers and travelers could easily assume it to be a holiday. At the very least, a day for a festival, if a modest one. A day that shopkeeps spent all morning preparing for, that all manner of creatures spent days traveling to the city to witness. They'd heard the talk that passed around, the rumors from those still left. But would it work? No one knew for sure, no matter how confident the stories seemed to be. But hope was very quickly becoming all they had left.

They had decorated the whole town. Streamers, banners, wreathes and garland made of autumn flowers, plus whatever the Fairy Godmother had cooked up. Oh, she was just giddy. No skepticism could be spoken around her, not if you wanted to escape the wrath of her wand! Rumor had it that she had caught wind of a few piglets squealing about the likelihood that their magic would fail, and that they were subsequently transformed into the band of musicians who could be found performing in the park.

Well, at least the music was festive.

Of course, the decorations weren't for the newcomers alone. Autumn was coming to a close in just a few weeks, and Old Man Winter would take the reigns like he did every year, and their weather would turn cold and harsh. The chill was already there, cool and biting when the wind picked up speed. Lady Autumn was much preferred to the citizens of the city with her gentle nature, even if she failed to show up, finishing her work in the orchards instead. That was what they liked about her.

It was mid-morning when Father Time was found outside of his tower, checking one of the numerous pocket watches he kept on his person. "Unnecessary, but comfortable," he called them, and closed the watch again. It was twelve o'clock in the afternoon, and where empty space had been just seconds before, now they were. Sitting on benches, lying in flower patches, scattered about the city and outside of the gates in peaceful slumber. They would awaken to the bells of the clock tower. Some, to many friendly and relieved faces all around them, some to grateful ones carrying gifts of food and clothing and magic, and some to fearful, cautious faces. Regardless of how the town treated them, they would awaken to a celebration of their arrival, and choices to be made, and the books. Each and every one. ]

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[ It's probably a good thing one of them is managing to stay calm; Owain's lack of immediate distress is starting to make Apple a little less...shrieky. Now she's just embarrassed. This is not how princesses act! She's behaving like a Wonderlandian, and not one of the more dignified ones, either.

Fortunately, this time when she opens her mouth, actual sentences come out instead of barely-coherent shouting. ]

It - er - that is, I mean to say, my story's been ruined and I've vanished into oblivion, without leaving so much as a trace behind! Poof! [ a pause. Maybe this wasn't the most logical conclusion after all. ] ...I think I have, anyway. I don't know what else might've happened! Although I would've thought oblivion would be less...villagey.

What story are you from? Are you also here because of someone who just - just wouldn't stay on script and play their part and spoiled it for everyone? Is...do you know if there's any way to fix it? I liked my destiny, I didn't want it changed!

[He'd probably be more freaked out but the screaming helped distract from looming questions (questions that he'd deal with later, at leisure) like did he fall into the gate again? Was this Grima's doing? Did he end up somewhen else again? It was, in a bizarre sort of way, weirdly soothing having some crazy woman to deal with.]

Gods.

[Even if he had no idea what she was talking about. Just. None.]

I don't know if our legacy hath been scribed into song and legend if that's what you're talking about...? And hey, what's so bad about challenging destiny? I mean, sure, if it's a good destiny you're probably okay with it, but maybe it was a bad one and you want to change it. There's nothing inherently bad about challenging fate.

[ Record scratch. Oh, no, he's a rebel. Apple's face immediately falls, although she attempts to retain her royal composure. ]

Oh. I suppose this is where vanished fairytales go, if you also think it's okay to... [ She tries to think of a polite way to say "ruin everyone's life with dangerous thoughts about 'choice' and 'free will'". It isn't working. ] ...It's just, destiny isn't only about one person! You have to think about everyone who has a part in the story! If you don't do what you're supposed to, then you're not the only one whose future becomes -

[ She's near tears now. This really is the worst day ever. ]

Look, I did everything I was supposed to! I signed the book! If you want to - to tempt fate - that's hexcellent for you, but why do I have to be here too?

[...she really is mad. Which was kind of to be expected given the entire screaming thing from the get go, but still. Crazy.]

I don't know! I've been trying to figure out when I could've gotten inside of the gate again. Or why. And are you seriously saying that if, I don't know, your...your mom was going to get killed by bandits you really wouldn't try to save her because of destiny?

[ Oh no. Ohhhh no, don't get Apple started. Oh no, you got her started.

She draws herself up to her full height - admittedly that isn't saying much - and gives him her most royal stare. It's only slightly marred by a squint, because she's not wearing her glasses. ]

You know, one of the very first things they taught us in Kingdom Management - which I got straight As in, of course - was that a good ruler understands that sacrifices must be made for the greater good, and that the needs of the many often outweigh the needs of the few. When I become queen - [ she refuses to say if ] - I'm going to have to think about what's best for everyone in my kingdom, even if it means a few of them might be unhappy.

[ She's avoiding the question, though, and she knows it. This is not something that she likes to think about. Still, he's the only person so far who doesn't seem weirdly scared of her, so he's probably her best bet on fixing things - so he needs to understand how important this is. ]

My mom isn't going to be killed by bandits, that's not how the story goes, and she doesn't have to die for it - some of the ones before her have, but it turns out that it can still work even if she doesn't, and Ra...um, the Evil Queen...doesn't have to marry my dad and become my stepmother.

[ Thank goodness, because that would've been massively weird. And really gross. Raven is her age. ...She's still avoiding the question. ]

But my friend Ashlynn, her mom is Cinderella, and that one's pretty strict about what happens, and of course she doesn't like that her mom is going to have to die an untimely death sometime soon so her father can marry an evil woman who'll work her to the bone out of sheer cruelty, but that's just how it is. If it doesn't go that way, then the Cinderella story doesn't happen, and who's going to marry the prince and rule the kingdom? It's not like you can just pull a princess out of another story and bring her into yours! Once you start interfering with other stories, you get people like the last Evil Queen, and you know what happened with her! They still haven't cured Wonderland of her poison!

The point is, we all have to fulfill our destinies as they're written, because if we don't then we have no idea what's going to happen, and it's just - it's just selfish to not think about how it'll affect everyone else! In the words of the wise Headmaster Grimm: there are no small parts; no short stories, no tall tales. Everyone's contribution is equally important, so everyone has to play their part the way they're supposed to. Or we just get - chaos!

And of course, if you go even further and...and don't sign the book, your story and everyone in it goes poof. POOF! Which is probably why I'm here now, because someone decided that her happiness was more important than my whole life, and that's just...not fair!

[ Years of royal training mean that Apple is not red-faced or spitting at the end of her rant, but rather just a bit flushed, in a pretty sort of way, and free from any sort of unprincesslike spittle. She has not, however, managed to keep herself from making wild hand gestures, partially dislodging poor Gala from around her neck, and looking generally like a crazy person preaching on a street corner. A crazy person with a miniature fox hanging on for dear life.

This is why you don't get Apple started. ]

[There was a pause.

It was a lengthy one. It wasn't that he didn't understand the gist of her explanation - he did - it was that it made no sense and it was not unlike the feeling he got when he got Laurent started on science and got him talking about something-or-another. There was a great deal that flew over his head and he knew it, but he wasn't sure if it was because there was some fundamental difference or if...she...was just crazy. The wild hand gestures didn't help although Owain made them on occasion, he knew, so he wasn't going to judge on that part.]

...book? [It sounds important somehow. Some malevolent curse befouling her land, perhaps.] ...and what if your story involves defying destiny? You know, the gods ordain that you are to suffer and you strive for a better tomorrow! There's plenty of stories like that. [There's just so much that...just...that...wow.] I don't get why the book is so impo- are you cursed? Is your land suffering under some kind of foul hex cast by that evil queen?

[ Apple is starting to get frustrated, which is not a princessly emotion and must be squashed immediately. But this is so - so - argh! It's like arguing with Raven, except at least Raven was starting from the same point. Why, it's like this man doesn't even know about the Storybook of Legends! ]

Well, obviously, if your story involves subverting destiny, then it's your destiny to do that! And if you decide to subvert destiny by not subverting destiny, then you're ruining it for everyone else when you should be not subverting your destiny by not not subverting your other - oh, curses, my head is starting to hurt. This is so not happily-ever-after!

You know, maybe I am cursed! I mean, Headmaster Grimm - our noble, brave, hero! - did eventually stop the Evil Queen - the last one, I mean, not the one who ruined my story - so the land is, you know, totally free and peaceful again and all that. But there's lots of evil queens and wicked witches out there who might've decided to take advantage of a poor, defenseless princess whose dreams and destiny have crumbled into pixie dust! Although to be fair, most of them are perfectly charming when they're not, you know, on-duty. ...But I like that option a lot better than being poofed.

[ She glances down at her book, a little nervously. The words on the cover definitely seem to be mocking her. ]

I mean, I...I woke up with this - [ she holds it up, a little away from her, as though she's afraid it'll burn if it gets too close ] - and it wouldn't say 'Evil Queen' on it if it didn't have something to do with one, would it? I think the villagers might know something, they all seem really scared of it, but I can't get a straight answer out of them and after everything that's happened on top of this, I just feel so...rotten!

[ This is not strictly true. Well, it is true that Apple isn't feeling quite at her shiniest, but the villagers haven't really seemed frightened of her book: they've seemed more afraid of her. And it's true that she hasn't gotten a straight answer out of them, but that's because she hasn't exactly asked. She's heard them whispering 'evil queen' behind their hands, and seen the way they looked at her, and...

It's not possible, it's not. She signed the book, curse it, she's bound by centuries of fairytale magic and tradition to be Snow White. She didn't ask because it's so absurd a notion, obviously, and not because she was afraid that...

No, she really, really didn't want to think about that. ]

Never heard of him. I heard legends of Ike! And Eliwood! And the Hero-King Marth! But no heroes named Grimm. [But, she seemed awfully distressed. So.] But I'm sure he's heroic and legendary! I...just never heard of him.

Do you feel evil? If you're evil, then sure, it's got something to do with you. But if you're not an evil queen...gods, mine says I'm a giant killer. Why would I kill giants? Why would you be an evil queen? Just because some book tells you to be one?

[ Ike? Eliwood? Marth? Oh dear. These are either extremely obscure tales that Apple has never heard of - and they would have to be very obscure; she makes a point of always getting to know every single student at Ever After High - or...her heart bottoms out. Or this really is the Village of Poofed Fairytales after all. Maybe - what had she heard it called? Märchenstraße? (Before her first year at Ever After High, Apple had developed a very good ear for German, in the hopes of impressing Headmaster Grimm. She had been very disappointed when it turned out he didn't so much as have an accent.) - anyway, maybe it's some kind of German slang for 'poof'.

But Owain is still talking, and something he says catches her attention away from her wandering thoughts. ]

Do I feel - ?! Oh, no, I'm not the Evil Queen! I'm Snow White! Well, I mean, I'm Apple White, but I'm going to be Snow White someday, and that's...wait, what did you say yours said?

[ Dangit, she really wishes it weren't unprincesslike to wear her glasses. She can't see the title of Owain's book, not without leaning in really close, and that would be even more unprincesslike. ]

When you say Giant-Killer, you don't mean Jack the Giant-Killer, do you? Because he definitely hasn't poofed! My parents had him over for dinner last weekend! My mother wrote me this long letter about what he was wearing this time, she's always so critical of - er, what I mean is, why would my book say 'Evil Queen' and yours say 'Giant-Killer'? Now I really don't know what's going on!

You've met him? [Yes, he's latching onto that part.] And...hold on. When you say...[And here he hesitated before giving it a decent enough emphasis, one which hinted at dire fates and dark portents of darker...dark...things.] poofed, [Normal again.] what exactly are you talking about? Because I was imagining just teleportation magic but you're making it sound like something darker and dire. Like a curse or hex of some kind.

Oh, everyone knows Jack, he's always inviting himself to dinner parties and balls and everything. Which, well, I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm, but it can be a tiny bit awkward sometimes, especially if some of the guests are giants. Talk about a social nope.

[ Okay, now she's babbling. Apple tries to pretend that wasn't way more than he asked for. ]

Um, anyway, poofing isn't a curse or a hex, that would be easy if that was all it was, you'd just get a good witch or someone to come undo it! But this is like, you know, you are your story, right? So if someone doesn't follow it, then the story doesn't happen, and you don't happen, right? Like I said, you have to do what your destiny tells you!

But if this - [ she flings her arms out, indicating the entire village ] - isn't, you know, poofing, then it might be a curse or something? Do you have a lot of experience with that kind of stuff? Do you know how to break curses? I mean, obviously True Love's Kiss will fix anything, but, uh, that's probably not a good option right now. I don't think my true love is even here.

[ Which is actually something of a relief, because if Daring were here, he'd probably just be standing in the middle of the city, swinging his sword around and shouting things like "vile cur!" and "have at you!" while discreetly admiring his own reflection in the blade. Which is all well and good for rescuing princesses from dragons, but Apple is pretty sure that would only complicate things more, and things are complicated enough already. ]

I've- [~~Definitely~~ probably gotten hexed at one point, perhaps by Noire's attractive yet incredibly fearsome mom and if that was the case probably because he can't shut up.] ...kind of?

[His voice trailed off. 'True Love's Kiss will fix anything' conjures some incredibly bizarre mental pictures, so he's taking a brief moment to sort of bask in them - gaze fixed at some point in the distance as he imagines what that would entail and how things would go down - before emitting a disbelieving sort of strangled choke-laugh-cough and oh wait that sounded terrible so he's gotta recover.]

Fear not! I've encountered great evil, done battle with vile forces beyond mortal comprehension, so if it is some curse that has brought us here I will slay it-...the curser and free us from the no doubt wicked plans they have intended for us. [...maybe.]

[ Hexcellent! This Giant-Killer is an experienced cursebreaker, even if he isn't Jack. Apple relaxes for the first time since she's woken up. ]

I am so fairy glad to hear that, you have no idea! Let's see - what kind of curses are you used to breaking? Would it make it easier if there were a princess to rescue? Because I'm a princess, and I definitely need rescuing from here, even if it is a charming village and I am in need of a good manicure. [ She looks down at her scuffed nails, lips trembling, but she stays as royal and strong as ever in the face of this adversity. ] Although if we need anything beyond that I'm not sure how much I can help. I'm not allowed to have True Love's Kiss until I'm at least eighteen.

[Oh. Oh. She thinks he's a dark mage- oh.]

Gods. Uh.

[But he can't back down, he's got morale to raise! And a problem to solve. And...stuff. ...]

The princess thing doesn't matter - you're not the first princess I've known and most of them are better at this sort of magic thing than I am. [And how he wishes some of them were here. Although it's probably better that they weren't on so many levels.] Well, some of them, though Lucina would probably be rescuing me, actually, ha. Probably first we'- I'd need to figure out who's behind this. And then figure out a plan.

You can do magic? You're a wizard? Even better! I'm not one of those princesses who does magic - unless you count being a whiz at Crownculus! Ha ha! ...But seriously, I can't do magic. It'll be so much easier if one of us can!

But yes, right, we should have a plan before we do anything else. I think we should try to find out more about this place and who's in charge - and if anyone else around here might be able to help us. I think there's more of us who aren't, you know, from here? Surely it won't be hard to convince them to help!

[ It shouldn't be hard to find them, either; they're the only ones who aren't looking at Apple like she's about to do something totally wicked. It's got to be the book - ooh, when she finds whatever cosmic fairy-fail who dumped the 'Evil Queen' in her lap, they're going to get such a talking-to! ]

My...blessed mother taught me a few things. [Mainly how to use a staff to heal small cuts and he barely remembered how to do that after things went south and things happened and cough.] I mean, if there's someone else who's a mage we should probably let them handle it. Dark powers course through my blood and it probably wouldn't be safe for me to unleash my powers lest I topple others when my uncontrollable bloodlust takes control and I lash out!

[And he sounds very sincere right now. Hamming it up a little. Vague, slight poses of a dire sort, although not quite skipping the line over to outright waving of his sword or anything. Mainly because he can't go in the other direction for various reasons. Even if he still wasn't entirely sure if she was crazy or not she needed hope! Of...some kind.

...

...gods, let there be a distraction...]

Probably. But yeah, we should ask other people for help instead of doing it ourselves. I dub this Code Abscondation Darkfury!...unless you've got a better name.

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Once upon a time...

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so much tl;dr, I'm so sorry

It's cool, I once wrote three paragraphs that could be summed up as 'he shrugged.'

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